Me, Myself & Scrooge

I'm going to be honest.
I can be really greedy sometimes.Well, most times. Like I am talking down right Scrooge status. Greedy with money? yes, that too...but I am actually talking about something else. I am selfish with my TIME.The sermon taught on Sunday was a topic I don't typically get enthusiastic about.GENEROSITY. And by the end? WOW. Totally what I needed to hear, a call to action, a change of heart, soul piercing and motivating.

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

When talking about generosity, about giving - my first thought went to money. It always does for some reason. Then I had to ask myself this question, WHAT is most precious to me? Truth be told...it's my time.Not only that but my QUALITY of time. I spend a heck of a lot of time with Desmond and I love that. But I tend to be so busy or wrapped up in my own thing that very little of my day is actually engaged in my son. A week can go by and I can think of a handful of times I really made an effort to play one on one with him or just get into whatever he happens to be doing - finding bugs, fighting pretend fires, building towers with his megablocks, reading books and asking questions, talking about God, our passions, or dreams...I do this with the rest of my family too, Tony included. I'm comfortable and waste time that should be GIVING and make it selfish by tuning out on my phone or talking about only my worries, interests and so on. It's gross now that I think about it. And then there's friends. I am terrible about being generous or giving at all to my time with friends...but that's what I realized tonight. My friendship to others is being generous to God. It's an act of service..yet I enjoy it too..I need to embrace the fellowship and not be a dang recluse. I've been better about it recently and this sermon just confirmed that relationship, sisters in Christ, fellowship - it MATTERS to God, it SERVES God. And speaking of that...simply giving my time (which, like I said, is really God's time anyway) to the Lord each day, my thoughts, my heart, my feelings...that's generosity. It serves Him but it also serves me ..and only in the best ways possible. It makes US more like HIM. I'll take it :)

What can I give?
-time
-love
-quality of time
-treasures
-talents
-gifts
and so much more.

And when we give in the name of the LORD? We are storing up our treasures in Heaven. Amazing. Jesus said 6 TIMES in the bible to 'Store up your treasures in heaven'. Clearly, this matters. In the end, it's all that matters. That we give our lives away to God. And when I think of it, I cannot help but realize that my life is HIS anyways. My gifts, time, talents, treasures etc. Why be greedy with what is already His?

Give yourself to the Lord - and giving to others will come naturally.

This hit home: As a parent, it gives me SO MUCH JOY to see Desmond share on his own, without me forcing it or reminding him to. Like when his cousins want to play with a certain favorite toy of his and he sweetly offers it - my heart explodes.Totally out of nature for a 3 year old yet out of the goodness of his little heart he is generous and giving..We are God's children and it pleases Him in the same way (BUT waaaay unfathomably MORE because He loves us insanely more than we could ever love our own children!) to see us SHARE and be generous with others - to not be greedy with what is His but to be giving. MIND BLOWN.

WHAT AM I GOING TO GIVE TO BETTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD?

{My time} with God

Time set aside in fellowship with Him. Church. Studying His word everyday. Prayer. 

{My praise} to God

Worship. Gratitude throughout my day. Doing all to His glory and not for myself. 

{My friendship} to others

Stop being a recluse and give my time and friendship away. Transparent, real and caring. 

{My quality time} to family 

Being invested & involved - not just 'there' but actively present and engaged.

“But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able thus to offer willingly? For all things come from you, and of your own have we given you." 1 Chronicles 29:14 

If you are intrested, listen to this sermon HERE (JOYFUL GENEROSITY-8). Thanks for reading. It helps to post my bible notes here and hopefully this struck a chord for you too :) Post more soon! 

well hello there

Wow. Well this is weird. I feel like I've run into an old friend...like we have so much history but it's a bit weird because I have no idea where to start.

So err, hi. 

Here I am, awkwardly blogging again. Can I promise myself to commit to this blog? HA...no. But I feel the need to be around.

Lots has gone on since I last blogged so here is a quick update on us :)

Tony...my adoring husband is busy busy (as always) teaching high school physics and science full time. He loves teaching, specifically physics...it is after all what he loves most after God and his family ;) I joke...(kind of) ...When not being the 'cool new science teacher' he is planning, grading, researching, thinking thinking thinking..and balancing his little family quite beautifully these days. He's got oh so much on his plate, but I can assuredly say that he is blessed and that sharing his passion for math and science is most definitely where God wants Tony to be.

Desmond...my little man. Suddenly my ringlet-haired angel baby boy is like a full on preschooler (minus the going to preschool part, that starts in September) and it breaks my heart yet makes me giddy all at the same time! He says the funniest things and has the wildest imagination...not to mention the wildest little spirit. He is all boy with his bug catching, dirt digging, fire fighting, police patroling, constant climbing, spider obsessed little personality...it is incredibly out of my realm of childhood, mothering and experiences (having grown up with only girl sisters and cousins) but I'm learning to let go and let him be the little person that God has designed him to be! And really, it's quite fun once I get passed the worms and what not. ...Oh, but all that is for another post on another day :) We are so thankful to say that Desmond has not had one seizure since being hospitalized last June. He is still on a small daily dose of seizure medication and his neurologist is nearly positive that his epilepsy is one he will grow out of very soon. That is the best outcome we could have ever prayed for. SO THANKFUL. 

And then there is me...Between coaching and being a mom I've stayed pretty much constantly busy but in only the best ways possible. I just wrapped up a packed cheer season at my alma mater and I absolutely loved my first season coaching here. I could go on and on but truly, I've found my niche and I am so excited for the coming season and every single one there after. Motherhood has been a whirlwind but when is it not? Or maybe I'm the only one flying by the seat of my pants ;) Three years old hasn't been easy, much harder than two some days (cough-most days-cough) ...I fully understand the meaning of 'threenager' and I've found that an earlier bedtime is key when it comes to keeping mine and Tony's sanity :) I'm always learning more about myself and my son as I venture through this whole parenting thing...it's scary, terrifying and the biggest gift of my LIFE! .....and that's why we've decided to have another one. Ya know, a baby. You all know since the only people who read this blog are family and FB friends..but that's right, we are growing another human and it's so awesome. I mean, the first trimester was awesome and miserable..second trimester has been awesome and STARVING-all-the-time. I enjoy pregnancy (so far..knock on wood!) and I am absolutely fascinated with this little person and who he or she is! EEEK!

So that is it. Us in the quickest recap before bed I could come up with. I've got a lot on my heart lately and I find typing it all out therapeutic in a way...it's strictly selfish you see :) I have ideas of blogging about mothering a son, cloth diapering, summer plans, home buying/renting, pregnancy and so on...so run away now  and never turn back before you get too bored! ha. 

Thanks for reading friends. Be posting again soon! 

An Update

Two weeks ago as of Saturday is when Desmond had the first of seven seizures.

We have been seizure free since June 9th, since the day we started Desmond's anti seizure medication.

We are unsure whether his seizures have stopped because of the meds or if not being sick anymore has taken him out of his 'seizure threshhold'.

I believe it is the latter.

We will continue the medication for a year, if no seizures occur, we can then begin to lower the dose.

At this point he is on about the lowest dose they prescribe.

We will do an MRI in July and see the neurologist in the next couple months.

Normalcy.

This word is something precious to our little family.

That weekend rocked our world.

The few days after were ridden with fear.

My anxiety level was out of this world.

Then I woke up on Thursday, the third day after we returned home from the hospital.

Life felt..normal. Desmond was acting more like himself.

We did our usual thing..coffee, the park..Desmond played like the happy little boy we know for the first time in a while. We hadnt seen that boy in what felt like an eternity.

The normalcy of just being together, being happy...it has been a continual gift since that day.

Tony and I both go through moments..maybe once a day where we are once again gripped by fear.

Thankfully, through prayer and reliance on the Lord we are able to move passed it.

The past few nights I have been having nightmares that Desmond is having long, terrible seizures.

I'm frantic unable to call 911 or get help. I wake up in sheer terror, cold sweat..the whole thing.

I am glad to say that so far this is really the only time I return to that time of terror, it is what I felt in the hospital that entire weekend and the couple days after.

Desmond is doing great...you would never know that he is a diagnosed epileptic.

He doesnt realize at all anything about seizures or remember them.

We've been enjoying our summer. Looking forward to a couple vacations in the next month.

God is good..He is good all the time. Even in the event of seizures and epelipsy.

He has walked with us through this time and continues to do so.

The prayers of this community and our friends and family have covered us so beautifully.

I am so thankful for our faith, for our God....these times remind me of that. 



Father's Day card and surprise donuts for daddy ♥

Desmond's Diagnosis as an Epileptic

Last Saturday my nightmare happened.

Desmond had another seizure. In fact, he had a lot of seizures. I will get to that.

Desmond had a seizure at 18 months when he was sick with a stomach flu. They believed it to be febrile after a CT and an EEG came back perfectly fine.

Flash forward 20 months later and here we are. With a child who suffered 7 grand mal seizures in 15 hours. With a child who is now diagnosed as an epileptic. Life has changed.

Here is the story of the worst weekend of mine and Tony's lives.

I drove home from a cheerleading fundraiser on Saturday afternoon, I called Tony to see how Desmond was doing. He had a stomach bug (like the time at 18 months, in fact, that is the ONLY other time) that had gone through the family, vomiting profusely, fever..it was bad. When I called Tony he was broken up, I could barely hear him but I knew something was wrong. I started to panic. I pulled the car over in the outskirts of Jacksonville..and there it was. My worst nightmare. My son had had another seizure. In fact, he had two seizures by that point. Tony and my dad had taken him to the ER, once again they wrote it off as febrile although he hadn't had a fever since the night before. They sent them home.. they shouldn't have.

I drove home, faster than I should have..crying, sobbing, cursing, screaming..frantic. Sick..so sick. I ran into Desmond's room to find him in a deep sleep in his bed. He soon awoke. He was acting off, it freaked us out. He couldn't walk well and was not all there mentally. We offered him a popsicle to see if he would perk up..when he went to grab it he missed, he could not grasp either. He wanted me to hold him. As I sat on the couch I felt him suddenly feel different, he slumped a little and his body felt almost, as best I can describe it - like it was in another state. I knew what was happening and told Tony to come take him. As terrible as a mother as it makes me feel I will be honest, I couldnt handle holding him or seeing him during that seizure...Tony becomes very calm and collected and takes charge of the situation and I am so thankful for that. I frantically called the on-call nurse, there was nothing we could do. She was absolutely no help.

Soon Desmond was having another seizure. We jumped in the car and took him to the ER for the second time that day. We spent at least an hour in the ER and about 30 minutes in he had his 5th grand mal seizure that day. 7 nurses and a doctor ran in to take care of him. I stood outside the room begging God. In fact, I pleaded with God the entire weekend. I still am. The seizure eventually ended. They tested his blood and did a CT scan, all came back normal. We were admitted to the pediatric unit a couple hours after arriving to the ER. They put him on ativan which knocked him out for a good few hours. Around 11 we needed to change his IV location because it was falling out. This is where it got horrible, the worst by far. We swaddled Desmond so he wouldnt fight us while the nurse put the IV in. This took 4 tries..20 minutes of crying and screaming 4 seperate times over a 3 hour period. Tony, a male nurse and I all held Desmond down while the night nurse tried to get the IV in his vein. He has lots of bruises to prove it. In the midst of this whole ordeal they tried to get him to rest and relax in hopes of getting the IV in a little easier, they gave him benadryll which only made him more alert..the opposite affect of what we needed.

As we tried to get him back to sleep, I noticed him making a strange look...a 6th seizure, grand mal like the rest. This time I watched. I can assure you that seeing your child in this kind of state is truly one of the worst things in the world for a parent. The seizure knocked him out...the final try on the IV did cause him to fight. Thankfully she got it in. I cried. As he lay on the table I noticed him making once again an unnatural face. I said "He's going to have another seizure"..the nurse responded with "no honey, we've got him so full of drugs.."..and nope, he was having yet another grand mal. This one his oxygen went down, an alarm was ringing and I had to leave the room. I stood in the quiet hallway of the pediatric unit crying in a corner begging God. When I returned he was through the seizure, only about a minute this time.

That was the last seizure Desmond has had. 2 am on Sunday morning. Following that they gave him an anti seizure med that they warned us would make him confused and irritable. He woke maybe 3 am? unable to sleep, angry that he was stuck in the corner of a bed and not allowed to get out. All tied up to an IV, wires everywhere.. He was not allowed to eat or drink..he hadnt eaten for almost 3 days because of the stomach flu and this was the first time he was hungry..starving. He could barely speak, he was falling all over the place. Clearly in pain. This 10 hours was the hardest of our marriage, of our lives, of Desmond's life...We were beyond exhausted. We both cried, sobbed..begged God to save us from this. They finally allowed him to eat of which he could not bring anything to his mouth. The meds and/or the many seizures left him acting mentally disabled. This was so scary to Tony and I. We did not know if he would ever act the same as the Desmond we've always known. Pair this with extreme exhaustion..it was a dark place.

By mid day Desmond was fighting sleep and had never needed it more in his life. This is when the diarrhea of the stomach bug started. It was non stop and they were short staffed - not really helping us much at this point. Soon after they started a new medication to stop the seizures since the first seemed to cause terrible side effects. He fell asleep at 3 in the afternoon for the first time since 24 hours before.

That evening he was doing better. Talking a little bit more normal. He was still not himself but somewhat better. We had to do a sleep deprived EEG the following day which meant we would have to keep him up all night so he would sleep during the EEG test. We wanted to give him some rest before we had to wake up at 2 am but because of the diarhea he could not fall asleep. We used probably 20+ diapers in an hour. Imagine your worst stomach flu, this was it. His poor bum was raw. It was horrific to say the least. He latched his arms around me crying that he wanted to go home, I cried the same cry with him. I hit my wall, called my mom begging for an idea of what to do. The nurse saw my desperation. God arrived in this moment. When I came back he was starting to settle into bed. We gave him some tylenol and he drifted off to sleep at 12 am. I layed next to him and Tony slept on the other bed in the room. The nurse said she would put off our wake up time until 4 am instead of 2..she knew we needed the sleep. We slept like rocks. The best sleep I've ever had.

4 AM - the beginning of the long road to the EEG

We woke up with a little energy and Desmond was acting somewhat better. The next 7 hours were all about keeping Desmond occupied until his EEG. He so badly wanted to sleep more. We would have to do about five minute intervals of keeping his busy (that's as long as he lasted before he lost interest)...we played with toys belonging to the pediatric unit, ate snacks, read books, watched Wheels on the Bus on youtube, went for a walk in the stroller around the halls of the ped unit, fed the fish outside, sang songs..repeat, repeat, repeat. In the midst of this we had to go for an MRI. He moved too much and we later learned it didnt turn out..we will have to do one in the next couple weeks under anesthesia. Finally 10:45 came. He sat on Tony's lap as the EEG nurse put his little cap on his head, hooked him up..he feel asleep instantly.

keeping Des busy. His coordination was improving by this point.

trying to keep Desmond awake..took a walk to feed the fish

during the EEG

The EEG was over in 40 minutes. At this point they had moved us to a bigger room. The following 5 hours felt really good. Desmond slept so peacefully, I cleaned up our room, took a shower..ate lunch..my mom came to visit. It felt better, a million miles from the night before. When he awoke they removed his IV (YAAAAAY!), he could finally move freely again. A dream come true for a very busy toddler. He still had trouble walked right but we could now actually practice. Our pediatrician came and told us he would let us leave the hospital. He explained that there is no use in making us stay just to find out the result of the tests. I did ask, "are we calling this epilepsy?" and Dr. Matt's response was "yes"...We packed up and left, happier to leave that place more than anything in the world.

That was Monday. It's Thursday now. The last few days have been the following: Keppra (his anti seizure medicine) twice a day. The side effects cause him to have what seem to me as sensory issues, he is louder, harder, more intense..angry. He even admits that he is mad and wants to hit others. We've read that these side effects should only last the first few weeks until the body adjusts. He goes from sweet and cuddly to raging and screaming. Some days are better than others so far. No seizures though and for that we are so incredibly thankful. We had a follow up appointment yesterday, Desmond's EEG came back normal! He is also walking, talking and acting back to normal - there is a period of time after seizures that the brain goes into recovery mode. It's as if the brain goes through an electrical storm and then needs to reboot. Just one seizure can cause this..so 7 seizures in 15 hours does a number on the brain. My sister who is a physical therapist explained that they do therapy with seizure patients to work through that period of time, they call it 'postictical state'. Desmond's seems to be over.He is running, jumping and doing all the same things as before. We are SOO  happy about that.

We will see doctor Matt in a month, the MRI will be in July and we see the neurologist in 3 months. We now PRAY for NO more seizures. We make sure we are diligent about giving Desmond his medicine. If he goes a year with no seizures we can begin lowering his dose, eventually he can go off if none happen..

 I do believe that there is a correlation between Desmond having a stomach bug, violent puking, unable to keep anything down right before having seizures both at 18 months and now.He went 20 months with NO seizures, no stomach bugs...the doctors believe he is epileptic and he very well may be but if he is, our hope is that his 'seizure threshold' is only met when extremely sick. And now that he is on seizure meds, hopefully we will never have to see another seizure in our lifetime.

Many kids grow out of seizure disorders, some have a couple seizures, never know why they happened and never see them again..many people lives with them and have wonderful normal lives.What is to come for Desmond is unknown. But what we DO know is that our GOD is in CONTROL. That our heavenly Father will be there with us, standing by our side through this struggle we never dreamed we would have to face. There is NO other way, no other way other than clinging to our Mighty Savior ♥

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 

The Next Chapter

I'm baaaaack :)

A wonderful thing recently happened that changed everything.

Tony got hired. My husband is starting his career.

 

Living like normal adults will soon be a possibility.

 

This is our dream, the long awaited goal.

If Tony and I had waited until after college to marry than we would have started off here.. But after dating for 5 years and knowing I wanted to marry this man from the time I was 15...the whole waiting another 5-7 years was NOT going to happen. And looking back, I am so glad we didn't wait to get married! I know it would have been easier in many ways starting off newlyweds with a career, a home, things we want, cars that arent ghetto lol..but the waiting to start our lives together would have been insufferable, none of that other stuff would have been worth the waiting to be husband and wife. We didn't want a second rate version of our life together by sacrificing our convictions and morals and choosing to pretend we are married by living together. It's all been worth it.

So through the stress of living off a gas attendants wage, through the stress of full time college and a masters program, to hours cut and insurance gone, while raising a child together in the midst of all the stress mentioned...We have FINALLY made it to the other side. And only by the grace of God.

Last week Tony had an interview for a high school math teacher position at one of the biggest high schools in our area. The interview went wonderfully but we didn't get too excited because of course the hiring pool would be big. That day I prayed so much, I was driving to go coach cheer tryouts and I shared my heart with God...I told Him that I understand that we do not receive blessings from Him because we deserve them..we deserve nothing, everything from God is given out of His GRACE and MERCY. But Lord, what a GIFT it would be for Tony to be blessed with this teaching position after how hard he has worked, day in and day out for years now. To receive a job even before he is finished with this masters program..my goodness, what a gift that would be.

An hour later I got the call from Tony that he got the job, a very excited call that was. The sheer amount of elation from Tony and I, to our family..to our friends..it's been AMAZING. I had an errand to run that afternoon and I sobbed the whole time I drove...tears of JOY and also tears of RELIEF. I then started laughing at how wonderful it all was..and I can only imagine how insane I looked to the people in the cars around me! A complete mad woman!

 We've been afraid that in this market, a teaching job would not be found for a long time..many told us that would probably be the case. But here we are, with Tony finishing his masters in teaching (and a bachelor in Physics) in about a month and by the Grace of God he is all set up with a job to start in a couple months. Although my faith did waiver at times, I always felt that God is bigger than any job market statistic..sometimes my faith enveloped me and other times it was a little mustard seed..and when I doubted, I prayed...

We've been so blessed to have the help of my parents over the last two years, they have allowed us to live in the upstairs of their house while Tony finishes school. Considering our income, living anywhere else would not have been possible, we tried that and it didn't work..landing us here. My parents are the two best people I know, selfless to the core..it's been a joy live here and share this time with them..especially for Desmond, he loves them so much. Though it has been humbling, I can honestly say these are times we will look back on and smile.

Through everything we've endured...the blessings, the ups and downs..we've learned so much about ourselves, our relationship, we've grown with God in complete reliance on Him and still at times it's like pulling teeth to get us there..but then we remember we can't do this on our own...He has shaped us, our marriage..it's taught us to be careful with our money, to be diligent and thankful for the little we have...and those values could not have been learned any other way. This journey was worth it, like all wonderful and beautiful gifts from God - they require sacrifice and the Lord's presence in our lives.

As we venture into this soon to be new chapter..a new adventure completely unknown to us. My mind, my heart..it's buzzing with many great plans that have been put on hold..

A home..another child that our hearts long for..

All in due time ♥

 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." Jeremiah 29:11

I'll be back ...

New job, the coaching job of my dreams! I happily much busier these days. I will be back though! Until then keep up with me on facebook or my instagram ♥

a picture dump!

evening stroll with these two

Desmond and his cousin Ireland on Easter :)

totally enamored with baby Maryalice!

Maryalice Cecilia ~ 1 day old

Redwood National Forest on our way to the coast last weekend

on our way to dinner on our 4th Anniversary (March 21st)

love the view at Harris Beach

 this one just for kicks...because Desmond is so dang cute.

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Currently

I am a big big fan of Moriah Sunde over at MoriahMakes...I started following her when I was pregnant with Desmond and have since been inspired by her love for God as well as her realness as a mom and wife. I encourage you to check out her blog sometime...this isn't a plug, I just genuinely think she seems like a great person :) Anywho, I recently came across her 'currently' post and thought it was a fun idea...so since I haven't posted in a while here's kind of an update.

Watching: 19 Kids & Counting...I love this show, the Duggers are great people who I think we all could learn a lot from. Im always in aw of Michelle's patience with her kids. Totally an inspiration to me. Though the 19 kids thing is amazing (I truly think so), Im not sure I am cut out for it! Tony's in front of me working on a lesson plan for tomorrow. This is a pretty typical night for us after Desmond goes to bed. I like this down time, if the tv is on during the day it's usually 'Fireman Sam' so Im happy to have my own tv time haha. Pretty soon we'll head to bed and watch our nightly episode of Battlestar Galactica which we've recently become totally addicted to. Totally nerdy and not afraid to admit it!

Planning: Not a whole lot. I've got some long term planning on my mind though...like a home on a farm with a big garden, chickens, ducks and bunnies.. Tromping through the acres with a few little ones by my side...my heart longs for it and someday... it will happen. We talked today about this hopefully (maybe) happening by the time I am 30..I'll be 25 in the Summer..Tony completes his masters in teaching in June. Hopefully a career in teaching soon after (please Lord!?!) ...so who knows. I can day dream right?

Thinking About: oh so much..potty training Desmond full force - like trying that whole 'potty train in 3 days' thing. Getting into zumba again, cutting my hair, Summertime (hiking, fishing, camping), a possible work opportunity, getting involved in the pro life movement, finding a bible study for Tony and I....lots on my mind these days but this is nothing new!

Looking Forward to: the weekend, nice Spring weather which we have had a hint of these last couple weeks. This being Tony's last term before officially being certified. College DONE. Summertime! Honestly...the future, the next baby is calling out to me. That sounds weird. lol. but really. Patience is a virtue right? :) really though, pray for me...haha.

Reading: My goal is to read through the bible in a year. I started on Good Friday and am reading a blend of the OT and the NT through an app on my ipad. My prayer more recently is to know God better, deeper, to live as a disciple for Him. I felt first a real call to read through the bible. I've looked at it too much as a 'self help book' skimping through looking for what I 'need'...Im reading it now with an open heart, not selfishly but to know the history of the gospel and the story of Salvation on a deeper level. Even though I'm not reading it for this reason I can definitely say that it is filling a void and a hunger in my heart.

Making Me Happy: Recently? My niece Maryalice was born last Wednesday and Ive been blessed to get to cuddle her just about every day of her little life so far! She is tiny (just 5 lbs 14 oz) and SO beautiful! This is my sister's 4th child and everything has gone so wonderfully, I am so happy for her and my brother in law!...Maryalice is my 5th niece making me an auntie for the TENTH time! I am SOOOOO blessed. Each and every one of my nieces and nephews are such gifts. Other than that, this weather! It's been 60-70 degrees and sunny for the most part. Tony, Des and I went on a little stroll tonight and it was just lovely. We hope to make this a nightly thing considering Tony's new schedule which puts him home from teaching by 4:30 four out of 5 days a week..this is SO nice. The best schedule he has ever had. And really, we deserve it. This is the long haul now and these last 6 years have been crazy with school, work, endless homework/studying and raising a child (hence why there is just ONE child as of now). Truly a breath of fresh air. There's always work for him to do with the masters program but at least we get to see him more. I love it. My son makes me happy every day. He's for sure an almost three year old right now, expressing his little will to do things HIS own way. It drives me crazy sometimes! but not for too long..I mean have you seen how adorable he is? I swear he gets cuter every single day. And he is so funny, he says the silliest things and talks so well now! I cannot help but smile when I think about that little boy of ours.

That's all for now! Feel free to do your own 'currently' and if you do please leave a link to it in the comments below so I can enjoy it too ♥

YOU.

I just wrote a really long post about accepting yourself for who God made you to be. But yeah know it's as simple as that. God made you and I specifically different in every way for a REASON. I am sick of worrying what people think, worrying why I am different in one way or another, comparing, envying, caring too much, over thinking... God set me apart, He set YOU apart. Embrace who you are, your passions, your joys, your looks, even those parts of yourself you don't like..maybe you are like me, maybe you get invested, maybe you care deeply what people think and if you don't receive it back, it hurts. That's okay. God is there to mend it. And in the mean time, embrace- you are human. We are not perfect and we ALL have our own different hang ups. You might not be as skinny or curvy as the next girl but you are a GEM in God's eyes. Let Him love you, adore you, captivate you...He does, trust me. Life is messy, we are flawed but ya know what? God is there to catch us, to hold us in those moments and whisper that He loves us despite it all. Fall into His arms and love who you are, who He made you to be. I am on a road of discovery and growth. I am finding that I love the person that God desires me to be. I am literally EXCITED about it and I can honestly say that I've never felt that way about myself...and I am not even halfway through this journey, maybe a few steps in. The places you can go, the lives you can touch...He has no limits, He has a beautifully unique plan for your life and who you are - Embrace it.