well hello there

Wow. Well this is weird. I feel like I've run into an old friend...like we have so much history but it's a bit weird because I have no idea where to start.

So err, hi. 

Here I am, awkwardly blogging again. Can I promise myself to commit to this blog? HA...no. But I feel the need to be around.

Lots has gone on since I last blogged so here is a quick update on us :)

Tony...my adoring husband is busy busy (as always) teaching high school physics and science full time. He loves teaching, specifically physics...it is after all what he loves most after God and his family ;) I joke...(kind of) ...When not being the 'cool new science teacher' he is planning, grading, researching, thinking thinking thinking..and balancing his little family quite beautifully these days. He's got oh so much on his plate, but I can assuredly say that he is blessed and that sharing his passion for math and science is most definitely where God wants Tony to be.

Desmond...my little man. Suddenly my ringlet-haired angel baby boy is like a full on preschooler (minus the going to preschool part, that starts in September) and it breaks my heart yet makes me giddy all at the same time! He says the funniest things and has the wildest imagination...not to mention the wildest little spirit. He is all boy with his bug catching, dirt digging, fire fighting, police patroling, constant climbing, spider obsessed little personality...it is incredibly out of my realm of childhood, mothering and experiences (having grown up with only girl sisters and cousins) but I'm learning to let go and let him be the little person that God has designed him to be! And really, it's quite fun once I get passed the worms and what not. ...Oh, but all that is for another post on another day :) We are so thankful to say that Desmond has not had one seizure since being hospitalized last June. He is still on a small daily dose of seizure medication and his neurologist is nearly positive that his epilepsy is one he will grow out of very soon. That is the best outcome we could have ever prayed for. SO THANKFUL. 

And then there is me...Between coaching and being a mom I've stayed pretty much constantly busy but in only the best ways possible. I just wrapped up a packed cheer season at my alma mater and I absolutely loved my first season coaching here. I could go on and on but truly, I've found my niche and I am so excited for the coming season and every single one there after. Motherhood has been a whirlwind but when is it not? Or maybe I'm the only one flying by the seat of my pants ;) Three years old hasn't been easy, much harder than two some days (cough-most days-cough) ...I fully understand the meaning of 'threenager' and I've found that an earlier bedtime is key when it comes to keeping mine and Tony's sanity :) I'm always learning more about myself and my son as I venture through this whole parenting thing...it's scary, terrifying and the biggest gift of my LIFE! .....and that's why we've decided to have another one. Ya know, a baby. You all know since the only people who read this blog are family and FB friends..but that's right, we are growing another human and it's so awesome. I mean, the first trimester was awesome and miserable..second trimester has been awesome and STARVING-all-the-time. I enjoy pregnancy (so far..knock on wood!) and I am absolutely fascinated with this little person and who he or she is! EEEK!

So that is it. Us in the quickest recap before bed I could come up with. I've got a lot on my heart lately and I find typing it all out therapeutic in a way...it's strictly selfish you see :) I have ideas of blogging about mothering a son, cloth diapering, summer plans, home buying/renting, pregnancy and so on...so run away now  and never turn back before you get too bored! ha. 

Thanks for reading friends. Be posting again soon! 

honesty.

Here's some honesty for ya....I havent been blogging as much lately because Im worried what my readers think of me...I usually blog about positive stuff, things Ive learned or just photos of what my family has been up to. But lately Ive felt guilty for being so happy and positive- like I need to blog about negative stuff. I actually find myself LOOKING for downer things to blog about! Isnt that just kind of backwards? I worry that people think Im bragging or trying to make my life look perfect- which mine is far, far from it.. But ya know...Im not going to feel bad about positive posts anymore! I want you all to know that my life isnt perfect..it isnt easy. I have stuff I could complain about but really, I dont want to dwell on negative stuff and I really dont want to act like a victim either...I want to rejoice in my blessings. If Im going through something I blog about it- Ive blogged about struggles during my pregnancy and trusting God, learning to accept that I had to have a c section and other's negative comments about it, I blogged about my battle with post partum depression, our endless struggle with breastfeeding, my issues with diet and exercise..I could go on and on. Im not one to pretend life is all peachy. But I also am at a point in my life where I need to focus on my blessings. I think that is a place we should always strive to be. Not that I think blogging about struggles and hard times is bad...I think it's a great way to vent and get through something..but there is no sense in looking for negative stuff or blowing anything out of proportion just to prove a point. So yeah :) Im going to let go of my guilt for being joyful (during hard times and not) and thank God that He has given me reason to be so ♥