3 Years Ago Today..

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be ♥

The Best of Our Life.

These three videos sum up the best of my life ♥ I worked really hard to bring everything together and convey how special these parts of my life really were and still are to this day. This is not the end..I will have many more videos to come, I plan to do this with all our children and through out the year.. But here is what we have so far :) All three still make me cry and probably always will. If you want to know my heart, my life..everything that matters to me..watch the following...

Our Wedding

A little peek at the most wonderful day of my life ♥ (be sure to pause the music player at the bottom of the page)

Our Wedding Announcement

LAST POST BEFORE THE BIG DAY!

So it looks like this will be my last post before Tony & I get married. I will be busy all day tomorrow & of course all day saturday! Then were busy sunday with family in town, opening presents & packing for the honeymoon. Then were off to Disneyland Monday morning and spending our honeymoon down there for the following 8 days!!

All I can think is wow, its here and I am SOOOOOOO GLAD! More than anything I just really want to be Tony's wife and for him to be my husband...the wedding is going to be beautiful and amazing and everything ive EVER wanted...but im just ready to flippin be MARRIED!

Ive loved having this blog and it seems like ive aquired quite a following! Dont worry because im not done now that the wedding is here...i plan to use this blog just as much but I will blog about more day to day stuff and newlywed life!

the next time I blog on here I will be Mrs. Rebekah Abbott! man, I cannot wait...seriously, there is no greater joy knowing that I am following the Lord's plan for my life, that I am fullfilling a huge part of my purpose. There is no deeper satisfaction in this life.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."

Psalm 37:4,7

Just a few days now!!!

I had such a wonderful weekend! Friday night I saw the movie "Taken" with my sisters, brother in laws and some of their friends ( tony had to work but I saw it again tonight with him and my dad!) SUCH an amazing movie, one of my favorites by far! Liam Neeson is such a bad ass! haha. Saturday I had coffee with Kim for a good two hours, it was a great way to start of the weekend! Then saturday night I had my bachelorette party and Tony had is bachelor party. The guys had dinner & drinks at Porters, from the sounds of it it was a really fun time. My brother in laws went, a few of Tony's friends & the groomsmen. Tony keeps telling me what a great time he had & how it was exactly what he wanted, It makes me so happy to hear that. Us girls; Me, Emmi, Jessi, Nakesha & Kim all went to Olive Garden for dinner. Then the girls came over after and we played apples to apples and watched Knocked Up and Father of the Bride- two of my favorite movies of all time. It was everything what I wanted it to be- fun quality time with the people I love most, I cant imagine a better way to spend my last weekend as an un-married woman! Here's a few pictures from this weekend...

Today Tony picked me up from my sisters because I stayed the night after the Bachelorette party. We went and had lunch at Mucho Gusto and then went shopping for the Honeymoon! We bought all the toiletries & traveling things we needed for our trip to Disneyland. I got a new swimsuit and we both got some new shorts and cooler shirts for the sunny Californian weather! Shopping with him was such a simple little thing you wouldnt think anything of but it was actually a really sweet and exciting time for us. We were shopping together, buying all this stuff we were going to share...weve never done that before! We had to buy the shampoo & sunscreen etc etc...even buying the toothpaste was exciting because we had to decide on it together. It was just...special! I really loved every second of it... I probably looked like a dork prancing around target all smiling and giddy!

Well can you believe the wedding is THIS weekend? I cant. Its still unreal, like an out of body experience as my mom says. It really is. The craziness of it all hasnt really hit me, but I do still get butterflies whenever I think about it at all! WOW its actually just a few days away now. Praise Jesus!

7 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM MARRYING TONY IN 7 DAYS!!!

7 DAAAAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SOOOOOOO EXCITED for everything!

As of 3 today I got off work and I wont be going back until APRIL 6TH! WAHOOOO! After the honeymoon I am taking a week off to get our new home all ready and settled. And also just to enjoy a week off with my husband :]

Tomorrow I am going to coffee with my good friend Kim! Her husband, Ty, is one of Tony's best friends & he is in the wedding party! They came down from Monmoth so they could be at Tony's Bachelor party & my Bachelorette Party tomorrow night! YAY!

Tomorrow night Tony is having his bachelor party at Porters with all his guy friends. & I am having my bachelorette party at Olive garden with Kim & my wedding party & then were going over to my sisters house to play games and hang out :D SOOOO EXCITED!!!!

I got my key for our apartment yesterday! It was like my first feeling of kind of being Tony's wife, like just that being my home in just a week! Its just crazy and so incredibly exciting!

This next week is going to be such an exciting time! Im not stressed at all, now im just like thrilled, everytime I think of it all I get the most butterflies in my stomach! Like I just HAVE to smile when I think about it all! Im having another facial & my brows done monday, a manicure/pedicure wednesday, and my wax and acrylics with my sisters at Gervais Day Spa on Thursday! Tony and I also are going in on Thursday to see our travel agent to get all our tickets and everything for our flight to LAX & DISNEYLAND! AAAH! DISNEYLAND!

I have to say, I have NEVER EVER been so excited/joyful/happy/thrilled in my ENTIRE LIFE!

God is soooo good & i am so blessed to be marrying the most wonderful man in the world!

9 DAYS!!!

does that name look good or what?! It flows together so nicely & so "Pride & Prejudice" might I add ;)

AAAAAAAAHHHH! THE WEDDING IS ONLY 9 DAYS AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!

This is wild! Now im finally starting to really get excited because I dont have really any of the stress of planning in the way, because its pretty much all done! AAAAH! I cant believe it. All I can think is that God is SO good & I hope these next 9 days go by VERY fast! I think they will!

We got a big Macy's box in the mail today! Ive been waiting ALL day until Tony gets off work at 9:30 to open it! The suspense is driving me crazy!!! I cant wait to see what it is!! This is the first present for the wedding that we have receive via mail! GAAH! Its all SO exciting, ALL OF IT!

Restoration

Can you believe that the wedding is only 10 DAYS AWAY!? I just keep thinking, Oh my Gosh it's NEXT WEEK! Lately it has been hard to really feel excited about it all because ive been too stressed and sick with pneumonia. But now I am finally starting to get better! Not just physically but emotionally too. today I have been praying that the Lord would restore me physically & emotionally- that he would take away the stress & remove this block that is keeping me from feeling all of the excitement about my wedding & MARRIAGE! Already I am starting to feel restored! God is so good. I often forget that there is a battle for my heart. Of course God is the stronger of the two but too often I just let myself get used to being stressed and 'removed', that is one of my downfalls is just removing myself from where I am in my life- I get so wrapped up in my fear or worry or just the busyness of life and I dont take the time to enjoy everyday- the things that matter; my family, Tony, all of my relationships, my relationship with the Lord & currently my up coming marriage, wedding & honeymoon. But I dont want to be 'removed' anymore, Im puting my foot down & by doing that I am reaching out to my heavenly Father. He is the only one that can remove me from that place, I cannot do it myself. But I trust Him & I know He has been waiting for me, He always has & He always will.

Tomorrow I am getting a facial for the wedding & really looking forward to it! I go back to work on Wednesday (ive been off for the past week because of my pneumonia) & then from this saturday until April 6th I am off work! Next week we have the wedding & then our Disneyland Honeymoon! Just thinking about it gives me the most crazy excitement! I cannot WAIT, I cant wait for it all!

Only a little over a week to go!

sick :|

Hello,

so yesterday night I started to feel sick- painful cough, burning in my chest, muscle pain and a really bad headache. My dad asked me if I was feeling okay and I told him I thought I had pneumonia. This morning I felt even worse so I got into the doctor. They did an chest xray and it is in fact pneumonia. Awesome timing right? for some reason I am really prone to getting pneumonia- I get it like at least once a year. Ive had it so bad that they told me I could possibly be hospitalized. And once you have pneumonia the damage is done, it scares your lungs and they become weaker. So I am being very careful and making sure I dont over do it- well I really dont have choice, all I can really do right now is rest and wait for the antibiotics to kick in. Its funny, just yesterday before I started feeling really sick I was overwhelmed with everything that had to be done for the wedding- and now im realizing that there really isnt that much to be done. I kind of feel like God is using this pneumonia to get me to just relax and stop freaking out. Im blessed to have a man who takes care of me. Last night Tony made me tea and prayed for me. Tonight he is bringing me popcycles & were going to watch LOST :]

I am beyond thrilled to be marrying Tony in 17 DAYS! I love him so much & I cannot wait to start our marriage together.

Father of the Bride

Tony & I watched Father of the Bride tonight. Its always been one of my favorite movies but I havent watched it a long time- It has a whole new meaning when your getting married in less than THREE WEEKS. Lets just say I definetly cried more than once. This time is so precious. I so incredibly excited for it all.

IT'S MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since the wedding is SO close (Only like 19ish DAYS!) Ive been kind of starting to move some of my things into the apartment. I dont plan to move any furniture- I dont really have anything I want to bring & we just dont have the room! But ive been bringing little decoration things here and there. Im loving decorating it. Its not going to be anything youde see in a magazine of course, but I find joy in the little things. Like our antique mirror I bargained down to 7 bucks! ...she should have sold that puppy for at least $25. I also got a gorgeous chair circa 1930s that sells for at the least $300 online, but I worked my way down from 55 to $35! but hey, thats why I love yard sales- people have no idea what their crap is and I do because my mother is antique collector ;] Thats kind of horrible isnt it? hahah anywho, Im just loving our tiny apartment and all our little treasures. That is what makes a home a home, little treasures with love and memories tied to them. This is kind of weird but I kind of like doing the dishes ( i know i know, it will get old) ...not the actually doing them part but just how happy and less stressed it makes Tony because thats just another thing to do on top of his full time work and full time school. Literally all he does when he isnt at school or at work is homework..all the time. At least he is interested in what he is studying though. I mean, not that he enjoys the homework but he does find it the subjects interesting. Im not sure if everyone knows but Tony is planning to get his major (Masters or possibly his PhD) in Engineering Physics & his minor in Chemistry or Mathematics or possibly both. So pretty much he will be in school for quite a while in order to graduate and then eventually go to graduate school up at OSU- which will be probably two years from now. Im not really looking forward to moving up there AT ALL, either is Tony, but if that is where the Lord needs to take us to finish Tony's school then that is where we will go. And im telling you the second he is done with graduate school we will be back down living in Medford SO fast. Im hoping over these next two years moving will be an easier idea for me..the hardest part is not getting to see my family everday- especially my sisters and my nephews and neice- that will be sooo sooo hard, just the thought of it breaks my heart.. Im praying the Lord will prepare me though.

basically I had way too much fun taking pictures of my favorite little things in our (well almost "our") apartment :] I also took some pictures of my engagement ring too. It was fun.



The wedding is approaching very very fast. More than anything now Im just trying to get out of the mode of worrying so much about it being "pulled off". There is so much that goes into a wedding, its like a huge party, that im just stressing about everything working out perfect...but I have remember that is not what its about. Its about Tony & I making a promise & commitment to eachother in front of our friends, family and most importantly- our Savior.

Tony and I have been on kind of a tea kick. We love green and black tea. We have our own little tea party's and make really yummy tea and add spices and honey to it. Tonight we are going to cuddle up, make some tea & watch Father of the Bride :) one of my favorite movies. I havent watched it for years because, this is SAD, watching it was kind of too painful because when you want to get married SO bad you dont really want to watch movies about marriage and weddings! Kind of pathetic. But I have to say it was God's timing for our marriage. I love that we are getting married on our 5 Year anniversary. The wait just seems long when you have wanted to marry eachother since you were 15 & 17! So what a better time to watch Father of the Bride than the MONTH I AM GETTING MARRIED! AAAAAAAAH! I cant believe I am saying that! It is so so so AWESOME! God is good and I am so ready to marry Anthony James Abbott :]

READY

I am ready to say "I Do" in front of everyone who matters & most importantly, God.
I am ready to fall asleep together for the first time ever..and for the first time as husband and wife.
I am ready to wake up next to my husband.
I am ready to travel ALONE together!
I am ready to read the bible together ...as husband & wife
I am ready to go to DISNEYLAND FOR 8 days & 7 NIGHTS for our Honeymoon!
I am ready to never feel anxious or impatient about being married ever ever again.
I am ready to go fishing together...as husband and wife
I am ready to experience flying on an airplane for the first time, and to experience it with him.
I am ready to have dinner ready for my husband after he gets off work
I am ready to just watch our favorite tv shows together..as husband & wife
I am ready to call his apartment "my home" and to not have to leave every night to go sleep somewhere else.
I am ready for him to call me his wife
I am ready to love him selflessly
I am ready to go garage sailing together ..as husband & wife
I am ready to never sleep on separate couches or beds EVER EVER EVER again
I am ready to share a bank account
I am ready to have a husband who loves his wife selflessly ...& he will because he always has
I am ready to always to fight for our marriage
I am ready to go grocery shopping together
I am ready to lay in bed together, light candles, listen yo yo ma & read
I am ready to wake up early & surprise him with breakfast
I am ready to defend him when he needs it
I am ready to be honest with him when he needs it
I am ready to travel the world with him
I am ready to go to the coast together...ALONE
I am ready to pray for my husband
I am ready to experience new and exciting things together

I am ready to kiss eachother..as husband & wife
I am ready to hold his hand & remember he is my husband
I am ready to dance the first dance & tell him in that moment how much I love him
I am ready to spend Christmas, 4th of July, Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentines Day and every other holiday as husband & wife.
I am ready to never be afraid of the dark while i sleep ever again :]
I am ready to marry that guy that always goes to bed when his wife goes to bed
I am ready to live in our tiny 1 bedroom loft apartment with my husband
I am ready to drive the 4Runner to some beautiful part of Oregon during the summer & sleep in the bed of the truck
I am ready to have a hotel room just to ourselves for the first time!
I am ready to listen to amazing music & drive through the country together...as husband and wife
I am ready to take pictures together..as husband and wife
I am ready to someday have babies with him :]
I am ready to someday build a house with him.
I am ready to cry and to laugh together

I am ready to someday travel to Ireland, Israel & England together.
I am ready to surprise him with little things that I know make him happy

I am ready to take a lot of road trips
I am ready to eat corn dogs in Disneyland together
I am ready to be able to say we really did wait until our wedding night
I am ready to go to the gym together..as husband & wife

I am ready to laugh until we cry just like we always do...except as husband & wife

I am ready to pray together & for eachother ..as husband & wife
I am ready to sleep in late together because we both love sleeping until 12 pm if we can :]
I am ready to go snowboarding together..as husband & wife
I am ready to cuddle...as husband & wife

I am ready to pray for the children we will someday have together
I am ready to take care of him, & have him take care of me
I am ready to go and stay in cute little b&bs together
I am ready to go camping together & NOT stay in separate tents ;)
I am ready to call myself "MRS. REBEKAH GRACE ABBOTT"
I am ready to experience every amazing adventure God has planned for us
I am ready to love him for the rest of my life.

ONE MONTH FROM TODAY!

THE WEDDING IS ONE MONTH FROM TODAY!!!!
I decided to post some very old pictures of Tony & I in tribute to the fact that our wedding is ONE MONTH from today. Im pretty sure all these pictures are from 2004 & 2005. I was 15 & Tony was 17. Tony looks totally different, its crazy! Its just insane that our wedding is in 4 weeks! & my Bridal Shower is today!Ive told people that and there like WOW, youve got a count down goin! its like WELL YEAH!? ..first, what woman getting married doesnt count down every single day? Ive been counting down the days for the last five years! In all of these pictures, even as early as it was in our relationship Tony and I both knew (& talked about) we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Now its only 27 days until we are husband & wife! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Our 1 year anniversary - March 21, 2005.

He is Holy.

So this video below makes me cry every single time I watch it. Not tears of sadness though. Is it possible to cry because you are just so incredibly in aw of something? I think so, I do it while listening to music all the time...the song may not be "christian" or even have any lyrics at all but I feel with something so beautiful as amazing music you can FEEL God in it. Tony also shares this love for music like I do, I often tell him when we are listening to a beautiful song that "this is what heaven is going to sound like"

This is the trailer for the new moving coming out called "Earth" by Disney Nature. It is a documentery that follows three families of animals- a family of elephants, lions & whales. My reverence for God just brings me to tears when I see & hear something as beautiful as this. God created all of creation, from the tiny insects to the elephants & whales, He created every mountain & medow, & ALL of His creations is proof of His glory & love...when I see a gorgeous sunset the first thing I think is how amazing our God is.. then you add inspiring music & youve got me balling.

Make sure you watch this whole video, the music I love so much starts about half way through- thats part where tears come streaming down my face. The song is called Hipopolla by Sigur Ros. I first heard this song on this trailer while seeing the movie "Changling"..both my sister Jessi and I totally cried watching this preview on big screen. From the time I first saw this preview I KNEW I was going to use the song Hipopolla as the recessional in my wedding- when the pastor pronounces us "Husband & Wife" then we share the first kiss as a married couple, then we walk down the aisle hand in hand- and this song will most definitely playing. Music is just about the most important part of my ceremony. Im very particular about music & the songs I choose are guaranteed to make you FEEL so much, you will feel your emotions 10 times more. My sisters say its like my wedding has its own soundtrack. It is that good.

Make sure you put the music playlist on pause & turn your speakers up loud :)

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." (Isaiah 55:12)

"Beauty puts a face on God. When we gaze at nature, at a loved one, at a work of art, our soul immediately recognizes and is drawn to the face of God."

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God's sight." (Luke 12:6; Matthew 10:29)

"Ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." (Job 12:7-10)

VALENTINES DAY 2009

Valentines Day 2009 was wonderful and special to say the least. This year has alot of meaning for Tony & I because one year ago today Tony proposed. I cant believe a whole year has already flown by, and I never thought it would come (with such a long engagement!) but here we are & the wedding is just next month. My heart just swells with joy.

I started Valentines Day 2009 by sleeping in which is wonderful in inself. Then my mom & I went to the Main Antique Mall & looked for a brooch & necklace for the wedding. We found a gorgeous rhinestone necklace & brooch from the 1940s. Both absolutly perfect. They were my mother's Valentines Day presents to me :)

After Tony got off work we went to Starbucks to grab some coffee & then to Macy's. I helped Tony pick out his shoes & dress shirt (both Calvin Klein & soo nice) for the wedding.

Tony dropped me off at home and we parted ways to go get ready for Dinner.

When Tony picked me up he surprised me with a gorgeous bouquet of roses & lavender :] so sweet. For dinner we had a double date with my sister, Emily & her husband Erik at Callahan's Lodge. Its about a 45 minute drive for Medford. When we left town it wasnt even raining, and out at Callahan's there snow everywhere, at least a foot. It looked like a winter wonderland.

I have never been to Callahan's before, i loved it. Tony and I definitly plan to go and stay at the lodge over night once we are married...which is 5 weeks from today. Im just in awe of it all. Everytime I look at Tony I just think how happy I am that I am spending the rest of my life with him, that HE is going to be my husband forever and ever. I love him so much.

Anywho. Are seat at the lodge was perfect. Right by the fireplace, close to the live musician playing folks style love songs (which we loved) & with a great view of the snow falling through the big window overlooking the beautiful Oregon woods. I had the prime rib, one of the best ive ever had. Tony had crab stuffed samon (which sounds disgusting to me but he loved it haha) Erik had the veal & emmi had stuffed tuscan chicken. We finished off the night with chocolate mousse, tiramisu, crem brulee & coffee. The atmosphere was so relaxing & romantic, quiet music, candle lit tables & the snow gracefully falling through the window. Tony & I ended the night by slow dancing in my living room, a tradition that started four years ago. I am so thankful was able to share Valentines Day with the people who are most dear to my heart.

& to think every Valentines Day from this day

on Tony & I will be sharing as husband & wife. Just stating that fact makes me smile.

Engagement Photos & Valentines Day

So Tony & I had our engagement pictures done yesterday by:

www.myspace.com/beccamorrisonphotos. She spent a good 3 hours with us shooting at the park & spot where Tony proposed (last Valentines Day!) & then we headed over to Ashland. There are so many great places to shoot in Ashland, we did some inside the Ashland Springs Hotel & in Lythia Park. I am SO excited to see them! I will post some as soon as I can! I have a feeling they are going to be amazing. Becca is incredibly talented & she has creative ideas which i love! Believe it or not Tony and I have never had a photo shoot together, even after 5 years. Kind of weird, especially because Im such a nut for photography.

This Saturday is Valentines Day. Im super excited. We will be having dinner & dancing at http://www.callahanslodge.com/. But what is neat about this year is its not just Tony & I going. My two sisters & their husbands are joining us. I couldnt think of a better way to celebrate Valentines Day. With the all the people I love most!

Well I gotta go. Tony's on his way over to pick me up to go to his apartment so we can make dinner. Yep, eating dinner at 10 at night, its how we roll :] or its actually because Tony doesnt get off work until 9:30 pm each night. But tonight were making breakfast for dinner...its pretty much all were good at making at this point. haha

& did I mention the wedding is 39 days away! It is insane. Its almost unreal. I always say this but seriously, i cannot believe it.

Marriage

I woke up early this morning with something very heavy on my heart...

Lately Tony & I have been asked a lot if we are nervous to get married. It just got me thinking this morning... Sure there are valid reasons to have some fear- combining incomes, living together...there are things to consider and think about...but to literally be plagued with fear and nervousness just seems like a big red flag to me. I dont know, maybe this is just me, but with Tony there's not doubt in my mind that I want to be married, and there's no doubt in my mind the Tony is THE best most godly, caring and honorable man in the world and that he will be THE best husband and some day father...& why is he like that? because he was born that way. No im just kidding. haha. Tony is such a wonderful man because desires to be the man GOD created him to be. Alot of guys will never desires that and will continue to be selfish little boys for the rest of their lives, we see it often- do not marry one of these little boys. But there are men that really Love the lord, who want & strive to be the men God created them to be, and love their wives with the selflessness & love God intended. And to have that, and for it to be equal- with a woman who seeks to be the woman God created her to be, who loves her husband selflessly & with abounding love from the Lord- well that is the biggest blessing in the world.

I saw the movie "He's Just not that into you" last night. I left the movie feeling so incredibly thankful for Tony, and for what God has created between us. I think some, if not most, girls left feeling "oh no, thats my life" ...

In the movie there was a married couple who seem unhappy, dont communicate, they never have sex, theyre just going through the motions of life- probably (not to be all negative) like alot of marriages. The story tells us that they dated in college, and the girl gave the guy an ultimatum- marry me or this is over. So they married. I guess the point of those characters was to tell you that you shouldnt limit your options because then you will be unhappy in your marriage and you will be tempted or you will cheat. Want to know what I think? I think that is a BIG FAT excuse to cheat. Do not even open that door, dont even toy with it. One, marriage is a commitment, and whether your "happy" or not..you made a promise. No matter what the circumstance. Marriages fail because it becomes all about ME. Its the same in any relationship- you start only thinking of only your wants, your dreams, your 'need' (people love to use that one) what you 'deserve' ...what does all that give you? A person who wont compromise, who wont work through things, who doesnt care what they are even doing to anyone else...its just "me me me" and they will go to lengths to receive their own happiness whether it is through another man or woman. But again, that happiness doesnt last because selfish fulfillment's are only temporary, they are fleeting and before you know it your wanting something else and SOMEONE else. I think the downfall of most marriages is the excuse of "well were just talking and sharing feelings to eachother, im not cheating because were not doing anything physical" There's another big fat excuse to cheat. I strongly believe sharing pains, hurts and 'feelings' with another man or woman other than your spouse is most definitely playing with fire. You create an emotional bond with somone when you have deep personal talks. its SO incredibly dangerous, and just toying with something like that is dipping your toes, more than that- taking a swim- in infidelity.

Among the others, the world loves to tell us things like; "someone 'better' is out there!" what if your married and you meet the one? will you just let them pass you by?" ....let me tell you something, the person you marry is "THE ONE" ...forever. Its not about the "feelings" that some other person gives you...feelings are fleeting and eventually the relationship becomes about the question -is this person worth it enough to you to give up everything? To be selfless for the rest of your life? ...would you do that for him/her? Its not about butterflies in your tummy, roses and how he makes you feel. Bull crap. Thats what the world tells you so when all that isnt there you think youve "fallen" out of love. I love that, I wouldnt love anyone if I knew there was a chance that I would randomly 'fall out' one day? thats just an excuse people use, we all know it. You CHOOSE to love. & in my mind, what ive realized is it all comes down to the question: do you love this person enough to commit the rest of your life. With Tony, I have no doubt that he is worth it, he is worth the REST of my life, he is worth every single fight & negative feeling i might feel through the rest of our marriage.

You have to admit that you are human, and you have a sin nature. I know that if i were to get very far from the Lord and start thinking selfishly I could very well give into a lie and ruin what we have. And thats why you DO NOT toy with selfishness and these lies. You do what you PROMISED to do- To God and that person. You love them, and you put that person BEFORE yourself. Make it your goal to show them love. And communicate. Im not saying that if your significant other treats you like crap you should just 'take it' and do nothing. No no no, if you know me...you know I dont take crap. No one should! If you are feeling like you are being mistreated or if you are feeling anything at all you should communicate with your spouse ( and this should start LONG before you are married, in your dating relationship early on)...there shouldnt be a tiny little feeling of sadness or insecurity that you do not share with your husband or wife. They are the first person you go to with that, and they should listen, hold you and pray for you. You should work through together and with the Lord.

This blog is long and intense but I dont know, Im just kind of getting upset seeing all the infidelity, people rushing into marriage, men and women just easily giving into these 'questions'. Committing to your spouse goes far beyond just having sex with that one person. Its being commited to the point of not toying with those thoughts that open doors. Those are questions you ask before you get in a serious relationship. NOT when you are engaged or married. I dont know, maybe that is why people ask me if im nervous to get married- because this is the typical time where people ask themselves those questions...but i decided a WAY long time ago that Tony was worth it. And even if he becomes far from the Lord or something horrible happens- and he isnt worth it? Well, that doesnt matter. I made a commitment to the Lord and to him and I would pray and pray and wait on the Lord. These are questions are premarital pastor had us ask ourselves and its true. Marriage isnt a commitment just when its easy, its a commitment even if the other person decided they dont love you, or they lose memory of who you are through disease like Alzheimer's.

Im being extreme & depressing here but this is real life for some people. but Tony & I decided a long time ago- we will go to any length for each other & for our Lord to love each other more and more each day-unconditionally- second to our God, forever, no matter the reason, the circumstance or the 'feeling'. THAT is marriage.

I dont know who all reads this blog but I just want to encourage you right now, whoever you are:

If you are in my place and getting married or in a serious relationship-I PRAY that you have chosen already to love that person for the rest of their life and yours- and if you havent...start praying for God to show you truth. Do not enter a marriage if you have not already decided that they are the rest of your life, and that selflessness & Gods plan for you both has to be the number one desire of your heart- if they are not worth that, strongly re think what you are doing.

For married people, I hope you strive for the Love that God has for you and your spouse. That you desire with everything with in you to be the man or woman God created you to be. & I hope that none of what I said on this post was new to you, but if it was PLEASE take it to heart. I so believe Satan is constantly attacking marriage. Dont be complacent and naive- be active. You have to realize that your heart is at war. Wake up everyday ready to fight for him/her asking and receiving wisdom, stregnth and guidance from the our God. It is the ONLY way to have a marriage that will last.

& if your single. No matter what your age- pray for your future spouse. Do NOT look for your significant other. If you are ready to meet your significant other than you should be able to TRUST the Lord. You should have the fullfillment from your relationship with God before you enter into a serious relationship. If your looking, your probably not ready. Focus on God. Who He is, his heart for your life-draw close to Him, and he WILL draw close to you. The closer and more fullfilled by God you are, the better your relationships & marriage will be- especially if the other person is seeking fullfillment from God as well.

I will leave you with Me & Tony's life verse. We are having this read during our wedding ceremony. God revealed the significance of this verse to our purpose just recently. God has shown Tony & I so much of who and what He desires us to be just in these last two years. We know that God desires us to live a blameless life to the best of our ability- to strive for that. To follow the Lords commandments. This is God's heart for all of his children. This is why we have chosen to save our virginity for marriage, & why we choose to not be part of this world. We know God has given us both a VERY strong conviction to speak truth. We feel He has given us the ability & power to speak truth into people's lives about things like; abortion, our generation, morality, evolution...about people who come into power- We feel that discernment goes hand in hand with our ability to speak the truth. We KNOW that if we just ignored God's pull on our hearts it would be wrong & a sin- this is God's purpose for us, why He created us! If no one will speak truth, who will?

We are so thankful to God for showing us this verse that just puts into words what matters to us MOST.

"Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord?

Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?

Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right,

speaking the truth from sincere hearts.

Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors

or speak evil of their friends.

Those who despise flagrant sinners,

and honor the faithful followers of the Lord,

and keep their promises even when it hurts.

Those who lend money without charging interest,

and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent.

Such people will stand firm forever."

PSALMS 15

Great Find!

I bought all these today at TJ Max. SO CUTE! I had seen this collection from Mindy Weiss (http://www.mindyweisstwoscompany.com) online when I had just gotten engaged but didnt buy any of it because the stuff is pretty spendy! But i love it because its my favorite color- I call it "Martha Stewart Blue" and I love birds! My wedding theme is birds and you will know that if and when you get the wedding invitations in the mail! So anywho, they had ALL this Mindy Weiss stuff at TJ Max for REALLY cheap- 75% off of what it sells for online. I just think its all so cute!

Newlyweds car sign [which I got for $1.49!]

Bride & Groom eyemasks :]

"Love is in the air" memo cube

Response Card keepsake box

& this is really cool- its a hearshaped boquet base for the ribbons and bows that we will collect at the Bridal Shower, and then use as the fake bouquet at the wedding rehearsal. It also came with some gift sheets for the shower.

Bridal Shoes!

I spent most the day searching and searching for some cute classic bridal shoes that werent ugly or had a one inch heel. honestly, I want some heel DANG IT! I didnt want to buy online because then you risk them not fitting but I read some reviews online and these shoes run wide so I think they should be good! I just LOVE them! They are exactly what Ive been looking for. I bought them at http://ninashoes.com.